If I smile I feel better! Humor can lighten my load.

smileSmile 🙂

Humor is a way to lighten up my mood, my day, my life. If I smile, even if I think I have nothing to smile about, my load lightens, my day is brighter and I feel better.

If I take the time to stop and look for the humor in a situation I can face it with a different and better attitude. Humor helps me to see a bigger picture and more solutions to a problem. Sometimes I can even see that a problem is really not a big deal and I can let it go.

I can cultivate an attitude of looking at the lighter side of things. I can recognize the humor in situations. When I am willing to laugh at myself I feel happier. If I grin at others then I find myself smiling inside. I can have a lighter brighter day.       🙂

Happiness is up to me?

Opportunities for happiness.happiness

“Happiness is an inside job” reminds me that happiness is up to me. But, sometimes happiness seems so fleeting. Something “bad” happens and my good feelings are gone again and I have to really work to get them back.

A change of attitude really helps. If I can think of “bad” things as opportunities to learn and grow or as opportunities to show my commitment to being happy, then cheerfulness returns more quickly.

Change takes time and constant reminders. I can be gentle with myself when I slip back into old ways, instead of being my own worst enemy. I can stop and gently return to the better habits I am developing. I do see changes in myself when I look back over time. I am happier now than I used to be. Being gentle with myself and others helps me to be happy.

I would be happy if…


I would be happy if my husband changed, stopped doing that or started doing this. I’d be happy if my son was home. I would feel better if I had my own house. I’d be happy if my children were bigger. I’ll be waiting forever to be happy if my happiness depends on other people, places or things.

My happiness does not depend on someone or something else. My misery is not dependent on someone or something else either. If things are going wrong, maybe it’s because of how I’m reacting to them or my attitude toward them. When my loved one reacts and says something angrily, and stalks out to the garage, should my day be ruined? If my loved one is ignoring me and not communicating should I be unhappy?

Happiness is within me. I can work out changes in my own thinking patterns. I can evaluate my day and make changes tomorrow. When I run things by a trusted friend I can see different ways I can act. I can have a more hopeful outlook and remember “No situation is truly hopeless”. I can evaluate my own behavior and make amends quickly if needed. When I do something to take care of myself I feel happier. Maybe I could go for a walk, visit with a friend, take a bubble bath or practice a new skill. I can be gentle with myself and others and “stop taking things personally”. I can be happy.   🙂

One day at a time

Dancing through each day!


I used to live in a situation where I was miserable. I was unhappy and anxious and fearful and did the best that I could to survive each day. The people around me were probably miserable by my attitude and unhappiness.

Then I discovered support groups and learned that my attitude has a lot to do with my own happiness. I began living “one day at a time” and found that I could live with anything for a short period. My happiness grew and I learned to take care of myself.

One day while reading I realized that taking things “one day at a time” is really for temporary things. I can get through things by living “one day at a time”, but there might be changes I need to make if what I’m dealing with is going to stay long term. For instance, if a job is hard on me emotionally, spiritually and physically, then dealing with it “one day at a time” might help me make it through, but am I really “accepting the unacceptable”? Should I be looking for a new job that fits me better?

I realized that I don’t have to just make it through; I can dance through each day. Taking care of me might mean getting out of the house, serving others or hanging out with family. I can start or work on a project. I can stop doing things that don’t work for me anymore. Taking care of me doesn’t mean just making it through another day. It means thriving and learning and growing. I am learning how to “use the right tool, in the right way for the right job”.

My happiness cannot be based on others

happinessHappiness is up to me.

I have learned that my source of sorrow or happiness cannot depend upon others. If my loved ones are angry, must I be? If my loved ones are hostile, must I be? Am I being disloyal if I find some self-confidence and choose joy and serenity while others choose something else?

When I try to share my sources of peace and joy with my loved ones, I am more often than not rejected. But, there was a time when I also rejected others’ attempts to share support groups and advice with me.

I am not my loved ones’ guide or master. We must each progress at our own pace and timing. I can accept things as they are and learn to love without trying to interfere or control anyone. My happiness is up to me!