Sometimes I start slipping back into old ways of denial and not living in the present. A lot of pain returns and stays around. I start asking myself negative questions. Why do these things happen to me? Why can’t my loved one give me the love and support I need?
At these times I have found it very helpful to attend more than one support meeting a week. When I do this I am reminded to live in the present instead of living in denial. I am reminded that feelings are good – that I am alive and feelings remind me that I am alive. I remember to feel my feelings even if they hurt and to go through them so that I can let them go. I am reminded that I tend to turn to people for love and support that cannot give me that love and support. As I relax and accept these truths I can stop blaming, let go of the pain and find others who can and will support me. It is unreasonable to expect that one person can give me all that I need. It is OK to seek support from multiple people. I am reminded to reach out and not isolate. I am reminded of the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ.
Making mistakes or slipping back into old ways is normal and human. I need the atonement, reminders and support from those who are going through similar problems to help me. I guess that’s why I’ve been going to support groups for 6 years now and have no plan on stopping! I want to keep the happiness, growth and change I have in my life now.