“Resentments are premeditated expectations”. This saying helped me put my resentments in perspective. Resentment is me putting expectations on someone else. I have finally realized that I am in charge of my own resentments. My resentment is not someone else’s responsibility.
When I see that I have resentment towards someone, I can look to my expectations and readjust my thinking and beliefs. For example: I have a friend that is almost always late and never ready when I go to pick him up. Anger, anxiety and stress would start to take over. I realized that I was putting my own expectations on his behavior. I can tell my friend that I will pick him up earlier than I really need to and read a book or something while I wait for him to finish getting ready, or tell him that I will meet him at our destination.
When I work hard to make sure I am not putting expectations on someone else, I feel much less anxious and more relaxed. I can set standards for myself, but I have no right to set standards for someone else!