I have been taught all my life how important it is to forgive others. I thought that I was doing this and perhaps in some cases I was. In support meetings I learned about resenting. Resentment and not forgiving are very close if not the same thing. I learned that holding bitterness for another only hurts me.
Although I did not know how to protect myself without resentment I was determined not to be a victim. I learned that hostility and bitterness maintain and preserve my pain. Resenting will color all my relationships in negative ways. As I learned I began to think about trying to let it go.
As I worked through steps 4-9 and prayed for help to let go of bitterness and to forgive others, my heart began to soften. Resentment hides and sometimes still comes up. It always surprises me, but now I know what to call it and how to let it go.
“Expectations are premeditated resentments” helps me to let go and not create so much bitterness in my life. When I see myself and others clearly I can love others but protect myself. I will not be a victim of the pain that resentment causes.