I am a perfectionist. I think this behavior is a result of growing up in an angry household. I tried hard not to do anything wrong so the focus would not be on me. When I make a mistake I do way too much negative self-talk.
In support meetings I watch people laugh at themselves for mistakes they make. I realize that I would have derided myself for that same mistake. I wonder how they can be so gentle with themselves. I envy their ability to casually put off the mistake and laugh about it.
“How important is it?” helped me to see the difference between mistakes that do not really matter and other problems that need more serious effort. Maybe mistakes are more about responsibility than judgment. I am learning to not judge myself and to be as gentle with myself as I am with others.