I would be happy if my husband changed, stopped doing that or started doing this. I’d be happy if my son was home. I would feel better if I had my own house. I’d be happy if my children were bigger. I’ll be waiting forever to be happy if my happiness depends on other people, places or things.
My happiness does not depend on someone or something else. My misery is not dependent on someone or something else either. If things are going wrong, maybe it’s because of how I’m reacting to them or my attitude toward them. When my loved one reacts and says something angrily, and stalks out to the garage, should my day be ruined? If my loved one is ignoring me and not communicating should I be unhappy?
Happiness is within me. I can work out changes in my own thinking patterns. I can evaluate my day and make changes tomorrow. When I run things by a trusted friend I can see different ways I can act. I can have a more hopeful outlook and remember “No situation is truly hopeless”. I can evaluate my own behavior and make amends quickly if needed. When I do something to take care of myself I feel happier. Maybe I could go for a walk, visit with a friend, take a bubble bath or practice a new skill. I can be gentle with myself and others and “stop taking things personally”. I can be happy. 🙂