Instinctively I want to fix the problems around me. I want to fix them even if they are not my problems, or especially if they are not my problems. Fixing helps me to think of myself as being dependable and responsible.
I heard in support meetings to “mind my own business”, that I was keeping others from learning and growing and that fixing others people’s problems was in fact enabling them in their addictions. These ideas took me awhile to understand because I thought I was supporting, helping and serving others as well as being dependable and responsible. I realize that by solving problems for others I am not allowing them to gain knowledge and growth from working on their own problems.
I still struggle with knowing whether I am supporting, helping and serving or whether I am enabling and keeping someone from growing. But, I know that God is an expert at this. When I turn to Him and ask, I can know whether I need to support others by working with them, lovingly standing by, focusing on my own problems, or doing something else that I had not even thought of.