What are my responsibilities?

responsibilitiesMy responsibilities.

I used to think that I had to handle everything myself. I’ve learned through support groups to look at things and take only what is my own and let others handle their own responsibilities. When my responsibilities grow large and overwhelming, I can ask God for help.

I thought that doing things for others was good and kind. I thought of it as service. But, I’ve learned that taking over can deprive others from the learning and growth they need to become independent, learn from their own mistakes, have increased self-confidence and more self-esteem. Of course there is a time for service to others. God is helping me to see the difference.

When I am overwhelmed and ask God for help, amazing things can happen. Sometimes I recognize that I need help and should ask for help and delegate some tasks. I might realize that something I think I need to do is really unnecessary and can just let it go. A new solution to a problem might come to mind. I am learning to communicate with God about my problems and feelings and to ask for help more often.

Sometimes I still try to do everything myself. But I am quicker now to recognize that I need to take care of myself, let others take care of themselves, and ask my Heavenly Father every day for help in all I do. My problems may be too big to solve by myself, but if I am willing, God will help me. I am not alone.

I am the sane one?



Am I losing myself?

As the daughter and then the wife of those with addictions I learned early to take responsibility for everything that my loved ones did and did not do. Since I was the “sane” one I thought it was my duty to be responsible and to save my loved ones from themselves.

As time went by I did not notice that I was losing myself and that my life was becoming more and more out of control. I did not take care of myself because I was too busy caring for others and taking care of their responsibilities. I tried to avoid any conflict by being the best daughter and the perfect wife so that I would be seen without fault. I wanted my loved ones to recognize that they were the problem, not me.

In support meetings I learned that this was crazy acting! I learned that I am not responsible for others. I am only responsible for myself. I am responsible for my thoughts, my feelings, my actions and my health – everything about me. No one else is responsible for me and I am not responsible for anyone else. I realized I have rights and my loved ones and all those around me have those same rights. It is my responsibility to take care of my own well-being and my own sanity.