Expectation = Resentment.
“An expectation is a premeditated resentment”. “Resentments can be cured by gratitude”. “When I feel anger, resentment or fear, I ask God to help me feel it, learn from it, and release it”. “Resentments, self-righteousness and self-pity always come through”. “Resentments mark the places where I see myself as a victim”.
It is taking me awhile to let go of being a victim. I do not consciously think of myself as a victim. But, as I learn from reading and from support groups, I realize that I do think and act like I am a victim of my circumstances and have no choices. This is an attitude that is deeply ingrained and affects all areas of my life.
I did not want my resentments anymore but had no idea how to get rid of them! When I realized that my resentments were not necessary and really did not protect me from the people around me or from my circumstances, I was ready to let them go. The sayings above and the atonement of Jesus Christ are helping me to slowly root out my resentments and my victim attitude.
I have choices and I can choose to dream and do and become. Today I choose to let go of resentments. I am not a victim! A creative and loving God is my father. I can choose to be grateful, creative, loving and happy.
“Resentments are premeditated expectations”. This saying helped me put my resentments in perspective. Resentment is me putting expectations on someone else. I have finally realized that I am in charge of my own resentments. My resentment is not someone else’s responsibility.
When I see that I have resentment towards someone, I can look to my expectations and readjust my thinking and beliefs. For example: I have a friend that is almost always late and never ready when I go to pick him up. Anger, anxiety and stress would start to take over. I realized that I was putting my own expectations on his behavior. I can tell my friend that I will pick him up earlier than I really need to and read a book or something while I wait for him to finish getting ready, or tell him that I will meet him at our destination.
When I work hard to make sure I am not putting expectations on someone else, I feel much less anxious and more relaxed. I can set standards for myself, but I have no right to set standards for someone else!
Here I am working full-time, taking care of the kids, making dinner, doing laundry, grocery shopping, having family home evening and family prayers, planning the vacations, cleaning the house, etc. As I make dinner yet again after a long day at work I silently complain about my loved one who doesn’t help out around the house.
Then I remember the tools I am learning in support groups. Where is my attitude of gratitude that I have been cultivating? I am thankful for my energy and ability to work hard. I am thankful for my legs and arms that support me as I make this dinner. I am thankful for my eyes that see my adorable children.
As my gratitude list grows my mood lightens and my mind is more at ease. I have more energy and feel more in control of my life. I notice that I am enjoying this task of making a delicious dinner for my family. I call them in with a smile to help me finish up and set the table. Gratitude helps me to be happy, feel peace and to see things as they really are.