Love is not the same as forgiveness and trust. One reason I am thankful for the atonement and for support groups is because they have helped me to be honest with myself – to see myself and others more clearly and to see things as they really are, as they really have been, as they really will be.
“Trust God, love people, not the other way around.” Of course I love God as well as trust him. God is perfect and deserves my total love and trust. This saying reminds me that people are not perfect and will always let me down. We all let others down because no one is perfect. I am not perfect and I have let others down. I used to think that love, forgiveness and trust went together. To love someone, I had to forgive them and trust them. This faulty thinking made life very hard. My loved ones would mess up often and I thought I had to forgive them and trust them to love them. I thought I had to be perfect to deserve love and trust, but I would mess up often. But, I am human. I am human in this mortal world and that means I make mistakes. The voice inside me, that told me that I had to be perfect to be OK, was from Satan not God. It’s OK to be human. Another saying that helps me remember I am not perfect and that perfectionism is not something to desire is: “Progress, not perfection”. I can repent and the Savior’s atonement makes up for the past and what I cannot change and what I cannot do. Next, I was able to realize that love, trust and forgiveness are not mashed together. They are separate things. I can love my loved ones, and work on forgiving them, and wait to trust them until they demonstrate actions and change that show me that I can trust them.
I know that the atonement is for imperfect people like me and is meant to be used every day. My love and appreciation for the Savior and for what he did for me, for what he continuously does for me has greatly grown.