Mean or feeling guilty?
Why do my loved ones snap at me, say mean things or criticize me? When this happens I tend to fall back into my old coping mechanisms of hiding and feeling fear and anxiety.
My support groups tell me that my loved ones lash out at others because they feel guilty. Sometimes I just wonder why they are so mean. I don’t know why they do and say as they do. It could be for many reasons.
I do know that when I can just let it go, like water running off my back, then I am much happier. When I take it personally it can send me into an anxiety and fear episode that can be difficult to extract myself from.
Today I want to be happy and have peace and joy in my life. So, I take a deep breath, remember all the tools I have learned, choose one that applies and practice using one of my new coping methods. Soon I am able to relax. I am happier, more peaceful and joyful!
Fear and anxiety make me crazy.
Fear and anxiety leads me to crazy thinking and acting. Should I check up on my loved ones? I’ve heard in my support meetings that this is obsessing, crazy thinking and acting, and leads to stress and anxiety. But I feel that my loved ones are lying to me. Don’t I need to find out? I can’t help them if I don’t know for sure.
But, I cannot control or change anyone else but me. How quickly I return to obsessing, having illogical thinking and acting crazy! My loved ones are the ones with the addictions, why am I acting crazy? The only way out of this downward spiral is to turn back to the Savior and put my trust in Him.
I can put off the natural man that wants to blame, accuse and have “grounds”. I can trust in God and my inner wisdom which leads me to Christ, to peace, to love, to joy and to serenity. I can “let go and let God” and put my loved ones in God’s hands. I will be led to know what I need to know, to say what I need to say, and to do what I need to do.
Does God care about me?
Fear, worry and anxiety kept me from feeling God’s love, from feeling the spirit and from receiving revelation. As I have learned to let these negative feelings go, through the atonement of Jesus Christ, I have again been able to feel the spirit and recognize revelation.
Through revelation I have learned to understand my loved ones better, to look at them with compassion instead of bitterness and fear. Through revelation I have learned about my weaknesses and received help to overcome them or gifts to compensate. Through revelation I have received help to know what to do in my life, what some of my mission in life is and help to work toward those goals. Through revelation I have found that instead of thinking of life as miserable and looking forward with fear, worry and anxiety, I can look at life as an adventure and look forward with joy and anticipation at what the future will bring. This healing in my life has come through the atonement of Jesus Christ, which I am so thankful for!
Why am I back to fear and anxiety?
I am so thankful for the tender mercies of the Lord! Support groups are a tender mercy in life.
Recently I found myself moving backwards to the survival methods I learned as a child and to negative coping methods I have acquired from living with people with addictions. Things like: turning to people for support that cannot give me what I need, perfectionism, trying to control others, or running away from feelings like sadness, anger, worry, anxiety etc. My favorite way to run away is to not be present in my life so I don’t have to feel. These bad habits may have helped me survive, but they do not help me now. They keep me from learning, growing and being happy. I was stuck in fear and anxiety. No matter what I did I could not pull myself out of my slump.
During this difficult time I chose to go to extra support meetings. I know support meetings will remind me of principles and truths that I forget. I prayed and asked God for help and attended more meetings with hope, listening carefully for something that would help me feel better. At one meeting I was reminded again that one of my weaknesses was turning to people who cannot support and help me. I knew immediately that this was causing my fear and anxiety. I was reminded that I can put my trust in God and in my Savior Jesus Christ, that I can trust God’s plan for me. I felt the fear and anxiety flow out of me and be replaced with trust, peace and God’s love.
Support groups have saved my life from stress and fear and anxiety. They teach me how to apply the atonement to my life. I am so thankful for support groups! Without them I would be alone and in isolation I tend to regress. Support groups give me constant reminders, support and love that help me to learn, grow and be happy.