It’s hard! But I can choose to not take offense

Don’t take offense.taking offense

“Don’t take offense” reminds me that I have a choice. I do not have to be offended because of something someone says or does. I can choose not to be offended.

This is easy to say and hard to do at first, but gets easier with practice. This is easier to do with strangers than with loved ones. But, feeling bad and hurt harms me and I waste so much time worrying about why the other person did or said whatever they did. I am learning that I do not have to take things personally. I can recognize when I am making assumptions and put those aside. The problem with assumptions is that I believe them when they may or may not be true.

Of course there may be times when I need to talk to the other person. God can help me decide if I need to ask questions, to stand up for myself or just to let it go.

When I think that someone may be trying to hurt me, I can decide not to take offense or to retaliate. Such incidents will then vanish away and not leave a mark on me. I do not have to take or accept offense. I can choose to not take things personally.

Today is a good day!

Have a good day 🙂 good day

Today was a good day. For me that meant that the weather was good and nothing “bad” happened.

Support meetings have taught me that whether my day is good or bad is up to me. I can make this day good no matter what the weather is today and no matter what happens. It is my attitude, reactions, actions and beliefs that make this a good day or not.

Today I will live in and enjoy and notice this very moment. Today I will be agreeable and courteous. I will look the best that I can today. Today I will take care of myself. Today I will accomplish something. I will be cheerful, smile and be happy. Today I will serve someone else. Today I will keep my voice low and not find fault or judge. I will be gentle with myself and others.

It is so much easier to deal with only today. Today is a good day!

Detach with love?

detachHow do I detach with love?

Detaching with love from my loved ones and others around me was hard for me to do. My life was dependent on helping and serving and doing for others. I spent a lot of time solving other people’s problems. As I tried to detach, the focus moved to me and I began to see my own shortcomings and weaknesses. I had a hard time being with my own thoughts and feelings.

I feel accepted in support meetings. As I grow in my own self-acceptance I find more courage to detach with love from others and put my focus where it belongs – on me. I am slowly growing to feel comfortable with myself and my thoughts and feelings.

Instead of being angry and miserable and bitter when a loved one indulges in their addictions, I can choose to work on a hobby I have neglected. I can go to a movie or indulge in a physical activity. When a co-worker has a problem at work I can tell them my experience. Then let go of how they choose to solve their problem. When someone is angry with another, I can say “I’m sure you will find a creative solution”. Instead of getting angry when a loved one tries to draw me into a disagreement, I can leave until I am calm.

With practice it is becoming easier to detach and I am learning to respect, know and spend time with myself. As I learn to accept others as they are and let them solve their own problems, I am learning to listen to ideas and concerns without the need to control.

Respect – what is it? Respect is not fear

respectWhat is respect?

When I was growing up, I learned very little about how respect really works. There was demand for and talk of it, but no one showed respect for each other.

As an older adult at work, I learned that I receive value when I work hard and do my part and then trust others to do their work. But, in my personal life I had trouble respecting myself or my loved ones with addictions.

In support meetings we treat each other with love. I hear that everyone is worthwhile and loveable. We take turns sharing and everyone is given a chance to speak. We thank each other for sharing. I am learning not to judge, criticize, argue or give advice. When we listen to each other the spirit is present and our shared words are there for anyone to absorb and use or to discard. In support meetings we value each other.

I am learning that I need to give others time to learn difficult lessons just like I need time. As I learn to value others I am beginning to respect myself and my loved ones.