There is beauty all around!
If I focus on the present moment and do “the next right thing”, I can make this a good day! If I focus on the past, wishing I could change it, I am wasting the precious moments of today. When I focus on the future, I waste more time becoming worried and anxious thinking of what might happen. If I focus on my troubles and trials I waste even more precious time as my thoughts anxiously go round and round. If instead I focus on this very moment and notice the beauty around me and do what I need to do right now, then I am happy and productive.
There is beauty all around me! There is beauty in the movement of the leaves in the breeze and all the colors of this day. All around me I can see the beauty in the expressions on the faces of people. There is beauty in a lovely flower or a butterfly flying by. There is beauty in listening to the birds sing or the sound of the wind rushing through the trees. All around there is beauty if I just stop and notice.
There is so much that I think I need to do and that needs to be done that I can get overwhelmed and then accomplish nothing. But if I carefully consider what the next right thing to do is, I can usually come up with a short list that I can prioritize for today. I look at my own needs, my family’s needs and the needs of others around me. If I prayerfully ask for God’s help, I can see what the next right thing is.
Today is a gift from God. I can make this a good day! I can live in and enjoy this moment and make my life more rewarding and serene. When I put aside critical thoughts of others I am less judgmental. I can put down my troubles and worry. I will live as well as I can today.
I desperately want my loved ones to accept me as I am. Sometimes they seem to get upset with me over the smallest things. I want to have a good relationship with my loved ones and to be able to talk and communicate with them. I want love and affection from my loved ones and to feel loved and accepted and supported.
In support groups I have found the acceptance that I have want so much. I am learning that I am lovable and that “although I make mistakes, I am not a mistake”. I am learning to like myself.
In finding acceptance in other areas, I still want my loved ones to accept me. I want them to stop getting upset with me over seemingly small things. I want them to think like I do. But, in support groups I am learning that this is control, self-righteousness and arrogance. No one is the same. Sometimes the things that bother me the most in others are the very things that I do myself.
I cannot change others, but I can work on myself. I can work on my character defects of control, self-righteousness and arrogance as I practice “live and let live” and “detach with love” and “keep the focus on myself”.
Dancing through each day!
I used to live in a situation where I was miserable. I was unhappy and anxious and fearful and did the best that I could to survive each day. The people around me were probably miserable by my attitude and unhappiness.
Then I discovered support groups and learned that my attitude has a lot to do with my own happiness. I began living “one day at a time” and found that I could live with anything for a short period. My happiness grew and I learned to take care of myself.
One day while reading I realized that taking things “one day at a time” is really for temporary things. I can get through things by living “one day at a time”, but there might be changes I need to make if what I’m dealing with is going to stay long term. For instance, if a job is hard on me emotionally, spiritually and physically, then dealing with it “one day at a time” might help me make it through, but am I really “accepting the unacceptable”? Should I be looking for a new job that fits me better?
I realized that I don’t have to just make it through; I can dance through each day. Taking care of me might mean getting out of the house, serving others or hanging out with family. I can start or work on a project. I can stop doing things that don’t work for me anymore. Taking care of me doesn’t mean just making it through another day. It means thriving and learning and growing. I am learning how to “use the right tool, in the right way for the right job”.
I used to wonder why I needed to go to support meetings when my loved ones have the addictions! There was so much to read and do as well as going to the meetings and I did not think I had the time. Then, I realized I was changing.
Support meetings are saving my life – changing my life from anxiety, worry and fear to peace, serenity and acceptance. Each time I read the literature, I think about a burden differently and it is lifted. When I take time to go to a meeting and think about and answer the questions, an attitude changes that makes my life more peaceful and happy. Life is so much easier now than it used to be!
I need a quiet time every day. When I include prayer, meditation and scripture reading in my quiet time my whole day goes better. I am better able to handle the crazy making and angry explosions that often occur when living with loved ones with addictions.
If my quiet time includes any anger or hostility at all, then my quiet time loses it power and does me no good. My best quiet times include serenity, peace and acceptance. I have to remind myself of this especially during times of stress.
If an angry explosion from my loved ones seems to be aimed at me, it helps me to remember that they may just be expressing their own guilt and dissatisfaction. When I choose not to be hurt I do not take it upon my own shoulders. I can choose to be quiet in serenity, peace and acceptance. I will not allow myself to give up my serenity and peace because someone else is angry.