Peace can be an elusive thing as I live with and around those that have addictions. Chaos and crazy making sometimes seem to be the norm. But, the atonement is powerful and amazing.
I can access peace through the atonement of Jesus Christ despite what is going on around me. Having peace has a lot to do with my attitude. I feel better when I remember to put my trust in God and trust His plan for me. I can enhance that feeling by listening to good music, dancing, listening to conference talks, going to a support meeting, serving someone, going for a long walk, focusing on my own growth and learning, etc.
Peace and joy are treasures in life. As I focus on taking care of me and on the atonement of Jesus Christ, peace permeates my soul.
Recovery takes time.
Addiction recovery takes time. Recovery is a process of physical, mental & emotional change. As my loved ones attend recovery meetings and work on themselves, I can be patient.
Patience does not mean waiting angrily or waiting anxiously, but patience is active waiting. I can work on my own growth and healing. I can focus on myself and learn to overcome my own weaknesses and improve my own spirituality. When I focus on myself, it is easier to stop obsessing about my loved ones and their addictions.
As I abide in faith and am patient, I will grow and learn and my mind will open and expand. I can let go of fear and anxiety. I can reach for peace and hope and joy.
Why am I hurt? I can choose my reactions.
Why am I hurt and upset at what someone else says or does? I take things too personally! Even if they are my loved ones, I can let things go. My peace of mind and serenity are too precious to give up so easily.
Before support groups I was lonely and miserable.
Before I started attending support groups I felt lonely and isolated. I was afraid to talk to anyone about my situation and what I was going through. I had tried a few times with negative results.
When I first started attending support groups I was worried about my differences from others and that others would judge me and my family. But I found that support groups gave me unconditional love and a place where I felt like I finally fit in. We were all going through very different problems and trials but our feelings and negative coping mechanisms were remarkably similar. When I was finally able to share, I was not judged or blamed. I felt relief, love and acceptance.
When I focus on my differences from others, my attention is focused on others. When I work the tools I am learning and attend meetings regularly and read and study the literature, my focus is on me. It is really not my business what others are thinking of me. When I focus on me I don’t care what others are thinking of me and I am happier and healthier.
Support groups have saved my life from chaos and misery! I am learning to use the atonement to heal and recover in support groups. I am finding companionship and friends. I am learning to listen to God and to my heart.
I used to think that detaching was a bad thing. I love this person, why would I even want to detach? How can I be a kind and loving person if I detach?
Over time I am learning that detaching with love is a valuable tool. In fact, detaching with love is a loving way of life. Detaching with love allows me to take care of myself so I can serve and help others with my bucket full. Detaching with love sometimes means stepping back and allowing others to struggle, learn and grow. If a loved one is trying to pull me into an argument I don’t have to read and answer every text. I can let calls go to voice mail. I don’t have to respond immediately to every request and question. I can say “Let me get back to you on that.” Sometimes serving someone else is taking care of me. If I ask, Heavenly Father will help me to know what is needful and when I need to say no or let go.
As I am learning to detach with love I am finding that my life is more relaxed, serene and peaceful. I do not have to participate in drama. Taking care of me is a full time job!